Can I have sex? A XXX guide to intimacy during the coronavirus

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FAST FACTS:

  • COVID-19 is passed on through droplets that come out of your mouth and nose when you cough or breathe out.
  • COVID-19 is not a sexually transmitted infection, however, it can be passed on through kissing and close contact, including having sex.
  • If you or a partner have COVID-19 symptoms, you should not kiss or have sex.
  • There are lots of ways to have sexual pleasure without physical contact– try having fun with lone masturbation, sex toys, and phone or webcam sex.
  • If you don’t have symptoms, having sex with a partner you live with is OK.
  • If you decide to have sex with someone who doesn’t live with you, then you should take precautions to reduce the risk of spreading COVID-19.
  • Sexual health services – including for family planning, contraception and pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) – may be disrupted by the impact of COVID-19. Get in touch with your provider for information.

Is COVID-19 sexually transmitted?

Based on current evidence, coronavirus – the virus that causes COVID-19 illness – is not present in the sexual fluids of someone with the virus. This means that the virus is not passed on through the sexual fluids involved in vaginal or anal intercourse.

However, coronavirus is passed on through contact with droplets from the nose and mouth, including the saliva of an infected person, which can happen through close contact with others. This means there is a significant risk of passing on COVID-19 through kissing and physical touching if one person has the virus. There is also evidence that the virus is present in poop (faeces), so licking around the anal areas (rimming) may also be a way the virus is passed on.

Can I have sex during the COVID-19 pandemic?

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many governments are asking people to stay indoors to limit physical contact between people and the spread of the virus. Here are some things you should know concerning sex.

Sex with symptoms

If you or your sexual partner are displaying symptoms of COVID-19 – a dry persistent cough, temperature, or difficulty breathing – you should limit all close physical contact to stop the spread of the virus. This means avoiding physical intimacy, such as kissing and cuddling, as well as anal, vaginal, or oral sex.

Non-physical contact sex

Having sex with yourself, masturbation, has no COVID-19 risk and is one of the best ways to keep enjoying sex during this pandemic. You can also explore other ways to have sex without anyone physically present, including through phone or webcam.

If you decide to go online, be aware of what you are sharing and who you are sharing it with. Remember to only do what feels right. Your partner may want to explore this new way of being sexual but you shouldn’t feel pressured to share sexual content over the phone or internet if you don’t want to.

Sex with someone you live with

If you live in the same house as a regular sexual partner and you both have no symptoms, then you can continue having sex (with consent) as normal for your relationship.

If your partner is having sex with other people who don’t live with you, then this increases your risk of getting COVID-19.

Sex with someone you don’t live with

During the pandemic, some countries are actively discouraging hooking up or having sex with people you don’t live with. This is because there is a heightened risk of picking up COVID-19 or passing it on to others, which undermines public health efforts. See below for advice on what to do if you decide to have sex.

If you are a sex worker, consider going online, sext or use videos and chat rooms, or taking a break from your business as usual activities if you can.

High-risk groups and sex

If you have a medical condition that puts you at greater risk of getting severe COVID-19, then you should be extra careful with all aspects of your life – including your sex life. You may want to consider stopping in-person sex or limiting your sex to just one partner who lives with you and is also taking extra precautions.

Limiting the spread of COVID-19 during sex

If you have sex with someone you don’t live with there are a few things you can do to lower the risk of getting or spreading COVID-19.

  • Avoid kissing or exchanging saliva with anyone outside of your household.
  • Avoid sexual activities which include licking around the anus.
  • Use condoms or dental dams to reduce contact with saliva or poo.
  • Take a shower and wash your hands and body thoroughly with soap and water both before and after sex.
  • If you use sex toys, wash these thoroughly with soap and water and do not share them.
  • Consider sexual arousal techniques that don’t involve physical contact – like talking.
  • Mutual masturbation while physical distancing.
  • Limit your physical interactions by reducing the number of sexual partners you have overall, and/or at the same time.

Sexual health services during COVID-19

During the COVID-19 pandemic, some sexual health services may be disrupted. This includes services for family planning, contraception, sexual health testing and pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).

To limit the spread of the virus, many clinics may move to online consultations, suspend walk-in services, reduce hours, close or be referring people elsewhere. It’s important to stay up-to-date with your local health provider by checking their website or giving them a call.

Contraception and family planning

If you are not planning on getting pregnant, ensure you have an adequate supply of contraception.

  • If you usually use short-acting contraception, such as the pill, or barrier methods, such as condoms, make sure you have at least a 30-day supply.
  • If you use long-acting contraception, such as IUD or implant, make sure you don’t need this changed in the next month. Talk to your health care provider to ensure continuity in your preferred method.

Where legal, the COVID-19 pandemic may also disrupt the provision of essential abortion services. Contact your health provider for advice and information.

HIV and PrEP

Preventing HIV is still important during the COVID-19 pandemic. Make sure you have an adequate supply of condoms, and at least 30 days’ worth of PrEP, if you currently taking PrEP.

Some people on PrEP may decide that their HIV risk is low because they are having less sex during the pandemic. If you decide to stop taking PrEP, make sure you know how to stop it and start it again. For most populations taking daily PrEP, they’ll need to have seven sex-free days before they can stop taking PrEP so that their last sex act is fully protected. Check-out Prepster for lots more information.

COVID-19 isn’t an STD. But you can get it if you have close physical contact with someone who has COVID-19. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to connect with people while you’re social distancing.

Can you get COVID-19 from sex?

COVID-19 isn’t a sexually transmitted infection. So far there’s no evidence that it’s spread through semen (cum) or vaginal fluids. But you can get COVID-19 if you’re within 6 feet of someone who has it when they cough, sneeze, or breathe out. And COVID-19 is also spread through direct contact with saliva (spit) or mucus. So intimate activities that involve being physically close to someone, or coming into contact with their spit — like kissing — can easily spread COVID-19.

COVID-19 may also spread through feces (poop). So it may be possible to get COVID-19 from sexual activities that could expose you to fecal matter, including unprotected oral sex on an anus, or putting a penis or sex toy in your mouth after it’s been in someone’s anus.

Some people with COVID-19 might not have symptoms, or their symptoms may be mild. So you can’t know for sure if someone has COVID-19 based on how they look or feel.

How can I safely have sex during the COVID-19 pandemic?

The best way to prevent COVID-19 is to try to avoid close, physical contact — including sex — with anyone who doesn’t live with you. The safest person to have sex with is yourself: masturbation doesn’t spread COVID-19, or any other infections. Just make sure to wash your hands and sex toys with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after.

The safest sexual partners are people who already live with you. Right now, it’s best to try not to have close contact with anybody outside your home if you can. Staying away from as many people as possible will help protect you and others from COVID-19.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, you still need to ask for consent every time you want to have any kind of sex. Even if you’ve had sex before, and even if you’re in a relationship, live together, or are married. If your partner doesn’t want to have sex for any reason — including being worried about COVID-19 — it’s important to respect that.

Use barriers — like condoms and dental dams — during oral and anal sex to help prevent contact with spit and poop that can carry COVID-19. Using condoms and dental dams will also help protect you and your partners from STDs. It’s also important to wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds before and after you have sex.

If you or your partner are feeling sick or think you may have COVID-19, don’t have sex, kiss, or be physically close to each other until you’re feeling better. Call a doctor for next steps, including how to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 in your own home.

You may want to totally avoid sex and other kinds of close contact if you or your partner have a medical condition that increases your risk of developing serious complications from COVID-19, like a chronic lung disease (including moderate to severe asthma), serious heart disease, or diabetes that’s not well controlled. This also includes people who are immunocompromised — like people undergoing cancer treatment or living with HIV that’s not well managed with medicine.

Being home all day every day with a sexual partner with extra free time might mean you’re having sex more often. This can be a great way to build a connection with your partner and reduce stress and anxiety. But it’s important to make sure you’re still taking steps to prevent STDs and unintended pregnancy, along with COVID-19.

If you can’t get your regular birth control method during the COVID-19 pandemic, use a method that you can buy over-the-counter, like condoms. (Condoms will help protect you and your partner from STDs, too.) You can also buy the morning-after pill (aka emergency contraception) at pharmacies, drugstores, and online without having to go to a doctor’s office or health center. Because emergency contraception works better the sooner you take it after unprotected sex, it’s a good idea buy it ahead of time and keep it at home, so you can take it as soon as possible if you need it.

You may also be able to get birth control and other sexual health services at your local Planned Parenthood health center, and some Planned Parenthood affiliates are offering health care services remotely through telehealthCall your local Planned Parenthood health center for more information.

How can I connect with my partner while I’m social distancing?

Social distancing — which means staying at home as much as possible, and staying at least 6 feet away from other people when you do leave the house — is needed during this pandemic. Keeping yourself and your community healthy may mean making some changes to sex and relationships at this time, and that can be frustrating or lonely. But it doesn’t mean you can’t connect with partners in other ways. There are still things you can do to be intimate and stay safe, alone or with a partner:

  • Masturbation is the safest kind of sex there is — there’s no risk of unintended pregnancy or STDs, and no risk of spreading COVID-19. Masturbation can also help you relax if you’re feeling anxious or stressed out. Just make sure you wash your hands and sex toys with soap and water for 20 seconds before and after.
  • If you’re away from your partner, you can connect by doing things like making playlists of your favorite sexy songs, reading the same romantic or sexy story (or writing your own!), and sending letters or postcards to each other.
  • Put on your favorite outfit, glam yourself up, and do a photoshoot.
  • If you and your partner are consenting adults who agree to respect each other’s boundaries and privacy, you can be sexually active with each other virtually through text, photos, or video.
  • If you’re dating, you can go on a virtual date — watch a movie together over video, play a video game or virtual board game, video chat over coffee or a meal, or listen to an album or playlist together.

Self isolation and social distancing are ways you can help keep yourself, your partners, and your community safe during this pandemic. It can be hard, but try to remember that it won’t last forever. And the more people practice social distancing now, the more lives will be saved and the sooner everyone can get back to normal.

How can I stay safe while staying at home if I’m in an abusive relationship?

Social distancing can help protect you from COVID-19. But for some, isolation at home may lead to relationship abusesexual violence, or reproductive coercion (when a partner pressures you to have sex or messes with your birth control to cause a pregnancy). Any form of relationship or sexual abuse is not OK, and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve respect and support.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, help is available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers virtual support online and over the phone.